Walking Through the Pain of Stillbirth

A brave woman’s decision to write about the painful ordeal of moving on after losing her baby

July 21, 2017

Khanyisa Ngobeni writes about the pain of stillbirth in her new book. Walking through the pain of Stillbirth details Khanyisa Ngobeni’s story of dealing with a heart-breaking experience. The 33-year- old from Dan village says she turned to writing to heal herself after she gave birth to a stillborn child in April 2015. The writer has been married for six years now and currently does not have any children. “I started writing on the anniversary of her death, which was supposed to have been her first birthday. I started by writing a letter to her, and that letter turned into a book. I allowed my pen to bleed,” she said.

Ngobeni said she honed her writing skills while still a learner at Hudson Ntsanwisi Secondary School in Nkowankowa. She wrote a series of Xitsonga short stories but never got to publish them. “Whenever I wanted to tell my mother or sisters how much I loved them, I would put pen to paper to express my feelings. “When they read the letters, the expressions on their faces told me a lot. My sister even encouraged me to write a book, but I didn’t take her advice seriously until I lost a child,” she added. Ngobeni said writing the book didn’t only help her to heal her wounds but also gave her an opportunity to share her experiences with other women who are going through the same pain. “After the passing on of my child, I was left with many unanswered questions. Writing the book became a form of therapy because I was able to bring all the pain and emotions out into the open. The book became another platform for grieving and crying,” she said. Ngobeni said it took her three months to complete the book, writing three to four pages every day in the morning and after work. She said she wouldn’t have been able to complete the book without the support of her husband, her family, and her publisher.

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